So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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