he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
