$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
