am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
