Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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