yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
