question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
