Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel great
I just peed on a car
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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