Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
did i just pee glitter
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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