Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
