Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
