Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
