Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
