I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
