She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
its not stalking. its research.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
