operation have a gay friend backfired
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
