Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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