i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
