now i know why i became what i already was.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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