I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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