That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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