i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
