thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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