did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
