My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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