The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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