i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
