Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
