my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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