3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
