It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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