Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
