Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
