I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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