absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
