K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
