I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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