let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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