I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
