does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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