i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
