So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
