Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
