She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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