I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you had me at cake vodka
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
