Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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