Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
