i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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