I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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