You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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