Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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