god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
