so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
