just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
