Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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